The Monster In me
by XxEmoVeggiexX
Summary: Everyone has a monster inside of them...Even in the most happiest person in Sky Loft you could think of.
1. Chapter 1

**The Monster in Me**

**AN: **Hello. My first go at something that many had this experience before or are going through one. I've been through one and still fighting it as I type.

**WARNING! **Out Of Character behavior, Yaoi, Foul language, Self-harm, attempting suicide and others that are very painful. DO NOT read if any of these offend you. I hate to see your virgin eyes being fucked. This also having a lot of true events of feelings, I'll let you all know.

Also, my grammar is a bit shoddy; I'm very slow at that. I'll try my best and I know I can get there.

I Listen to Megadeth Song: Sweating Bullets.

Link X Pipit

Thanks for understanding

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There's a monster in everyone, even in the happiest of people. Sometimes I wonder where the monster we all have is being created, how did it get here? Why is it destroying us, destroying you, destroying me? How could I make this horrible monster that boiled inside of me? How did I ever become one? I'm lost and no one understands how I can be a threat to them, to you, to myself. I understand it, I speak to it, I play with it, and I sleep with it, all day and all night. I was happy once, never had this monster inside of me. I care for those of needed help, friendship and brotherhood. I never thought of anything like this could happen to me and now look what happened. I'm a monster.

I look at myself in the mirror, asking myself if I could be any better. The doubt always tells the painful truth to me, how can I better? Can I ever be a better person? I didn't mean to hurt them, I didn't mean to make them cry and I never meant those hurtful words I said to them. I wish I could change time and turn it back I would of notice these signs ages ago. But I didn't know and now it's been done, over, finished. I'm a monster of my own mind, heart and soul. I'm not pure anymore, not happy, I don't have a soul anymore, I don't have anything I once loved and cared. I hate it! I hate everyone, all of you! I hate these stupid emotions, I hate crying, I hate talking and I hate love!

I don't want to smile or be kind. I want to be this monster, the new me. The rage, the hate fills my veins, my heart and my soul. I don't have feelings anymore. I feel suffocated in this room it feels so good. I laugh and scream; I kick and bang my head to the wooden walls. This new sensation is like a drug. The war inside my head, the fighting that carries on, images of blood flash through in my mind ended me into the world of chaos. I can hold off this urge to hit someone, somebody, somewhere and anywhere. I want to taste blood, the fear, the rage in my fists. I hit the bedroom wall and laughed, this energy to hit someone is driving me crazy! Someone open my dorm room door so I can smash your head in.

I want your blood, I want your fear, and I want everything your heart beats for!

My wish is granted as someone opened the door. For me however, I became blind with this unexpected outburst.

Everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Monster in Me**

**AN: **Thank you so much for your review.

If it's making you confuse this might help.

It's about what goes through the mind of the person, how the feeling is like, what happens when the illness starts to take its toll, takes over, what behavior it does to that person. Can that person fight it, find help and destroy it? It's hard to explain it, I guess. I hope this will make you understand. If it doesn't, I'm sure some tips will help me.

I hate to confuse. I'm sorry of this chapter confuses you all. It's hard to explain it all. Maybe help might pick things up.

I should have said it earlier, my bad.

**WARNING! **Self-harm. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT OFFENDS YOU.

Also, my grammar is a bit shoddy; I'm very slow at that. I'll try my best and I know I can get there.

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My wish is granted as someone opened the door. For me however, I became blind in this unexpected outburst.

Everything went black.

One of these signs of a monster I've become: The violent behavior.

Yeah, how to explain that? It's like another way of being blind with rage or a in a huge fit. But everything I see is like a blur, one black blur. You know, like, when you fight someone and that someone makes you angrier than ever and then makes your blood boil, you can't control this rage and then all of a sudden, BAM! Your rage has unleashed itself and you just go all crazy and can't recall what you're doing. All you feel is your body being controlled by this dark force, you feel your arms move, your fists hitting someone and there's nothing you can stop it, until it's all over.

But this isn't the case; no one has made me angry or even tried to. I just get angry for no reason and hit someone.

"Link, what are you doing?! Stop it!"

Someone is calling my name. I can't see who it is. This urge to hit is still running through me, I want to feel my fists punching that person. I want to know who you are. I feel someone's hands, trying to fight back or stopping this black, blinding rage. But it only makes me more angrier. I can feel a headache coming, within a few seconds a sharp pain hits my head like a knife, stabbing my skull, in and out, in and out. I feel sick.

"Link…" The voice sounded like someone is in pain.

Somehow this black rage stopped. My body relaxing, what's going on? I blinked a few times, my vision coming back. I can see now, but how? I'm confused. I see other students standing at the doorway, looking at me as if I've done something wrong.

My body moves a bit, but I notice I'm sitting on someone's stomach.

I looked down and gasped.

"Pipit. Oh no, I'm so sorry."

What have I done?! I hurt Pipit. I got off of him and check to see if he's okay. He doesn't look so good. I hurt him pretty bad. I gave him a bloody nose and it looks like I knocked the wind out of him. I panicked.

Everyone's looking at me; I hurt my best friend, Pipit. I'm so sorry.

I don't know what overcame of me. I can't explain it! my heart is beating like it's going to have an heart attack. I'm stressing out; I can feel my head spinning, hurting and throbbing. Oh my god.

"Pipit, can you hear me?" I say.

He opens his eyes and I looked right into them. I saw the pain, hurt, fear and sadness.

"What…did I ever…do to you?" His voice sounds so painful. Then he closed his eyes.

I look up at the students and I shook my head.

"It was only an accident…I didn't mean to." I said.

I had to get out of here. I need to run away, run away as far as I can. I quickly got up and ran out of my dorm room, past the group of knights and students and never look back. I ran as much as my legs can go. I needed to find a place to hide. Stopped and looked around, I saw a small floating island and I decide to go there. A wonderful hiding spot to stay for now and think things over or find out what happened. I smiled and jumped off sky loft, whistling for my Loftwing to come by. I feel the wind blow in my face and landed on my loftwing's back, flying towards the floating island.

As I landed on the floating island, I sat down and sighed. I hurt him, it's my fault. By now I think he hates me. I can't go back to skyloft, no. I'm a danger to them. I haven't told anyone about this monster I've become, and yet I thought no one would be able to notice it or see it. Well only Pipit has and he only got the taste of it. Pipit, I'm so sorry, very sorry. I didn't mean to. Even making up excuses makes things hard. It's my fault that I hurt it and let this monster of me get in the way. I'm a monster and I now Pipit saw it. My eyes sting as the tears slide down my cheeks.

I can't remember what happened. All I know is that I sat on Pipit and I injured him, that's all I know. It's like my mind doesn't want me to know what I do. I feel numb; I want to feel my friend's pain. I want to know how he felt. I don't know anymore.

I look around to see something sharp, on the grass. I crawl over to it. It's a sharp shard of glass. Someone must be here before me or something like that. I looked at it.

'_Use it. It'll make you feel better. You want to know how your friend feels, use it on your wrist.'_ Said my mind, It's like the voice of the monster I am and now it's speaking to me.

I eyed my wrist and then the shard.

'_Don't be so shy, Link. After all, I'm you, the darkest of your mind, _heart _and soul. Go on, give it a try.'_

I guess it won't hurt, just a bit.

I gently felt the shard on my wrist. It feels so good, so cool and relaxing. I then added a little pressure onto my skin and dragged the shard sideways; I hissed in pain as the stinging began to burn, the warm blood flowed out, trickling down my arm. Somehow I feel pain, the stinging pain that Pipit felt. I begin to cry as I started to feel the pain.

Pipit's pain


	3. Chapter 3

**The Monster in me**

**AN:** I'm SO SORRY for not updating in months. I've got a new computer and had to get everything back on track. I have writers block, plus life got in the way of things that needed to be sorted. I'm all done now and I'm back. Happy new year for all of you.

Thank you so much Stubborn Dodecahedron for your suggestion and HappyNekoLover. I do agree with you there,Stubborn Dodecachedron. Suggestions are always welcome :)

Thanks to those who enjoy reading this and following it and faving, it makes me feel happy to write more :)

Please excuse my shoddy grammar as I am slow at it, thanks.

**WARNING! ** None yet.

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Last time...

_I eyed my wrist and then the shard._

'_Don't be so shy, Link. After all, I'm you, the darkest of your mind, heart and soul. Go on, give it a try.'_

_I guess it won't hurt, just a bit._

_I gently felt the shard on my wrist. It feels so good, so cool and relaxing. I then added a little pressure onto my skin and dragged the shard sideways; I hissed in pain as the stinging began to burn, the warm blood flowed out, trickling down my arm. Somehow I feel pain, the stinging pain that Pipit felt. I begin to cry as I started to feel the pain._

_Pipit's pain_

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Your mind screams at you, like you've done something wrong, something that will come back to haunt you in the future. It sounded like: **"**_**What the hell are you doing!?"**_ or _**"Don't do that, you fool!" **_ it just echoes in my head. It gives me headache hearing my own mind yelling like this. I look at my own wound, my gut went in knots. What have I done!? I just cut myself, thinking that my anger went away. This is so wrong, oh, so wrong. How would Pipit feel if he saw this? Will he ever look at me the same? Do I have to lie to him to cover my own mistake? Pipit will eventually find out, he always does. It's not like he's very smart or anything, he's just very aware. I have to cover this cut up or someone will notice. I ripped enough fabric from my pants to cover up my cut for now.

I just pray to the goddess that no one will find out, even Pipit.

Speaking of Pipit, I wonder if he's okay now. Mostly not, after what I've done to him. I sighed. This is getting me nowhere, sitting down, feeling sad, feeling sorry for him and my mind yelling at me. I don't have the energy to move anymore. As night falls upon Sky Loft it's time for me to return back. There is a rule for those who stay out at night. You get caught, you'll be punished and if you don't return in the time before night fall, there's an even bad punishment. Even knights patrol the area, which means Pipit will be patrolling tonight, that's if he's healed. I have to return back without being caught. I need to speak to Pipit and explain to him why. I looked at the academy and thank goddess for I have very good eyesight. I gasped at the opening where there are no knights, there's my chance! With the unknown energy I have, I jumped off the small floating island and whistled out to my loft-wing. He didn't came.

Oh no...I forgot he hates darkness, unless he has a light with him. I panicked, my heart pumped twice as much, in reaction I close my eyes tightly shut and the howling wind passed my ears as I fall. Please dear goddess, someone save me! I'm scared now, more than ever. Is this a punishment for what I did to Pipit? Is this how Pipit felt when I hit him? Or is this bad luck? I feel dizzy now, the wind still blows pass my ears and I'm still falling into my death.

Everything went black soon after I felt something brush my body.

**AN:** Sorry for this very short chapter. I'm stuck and my mind is shut down,due to my own monster. But a longer chapter will up sometime, hopefully.


End file.
